in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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