I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
