He asked to "fluff my boner.."
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
