this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
