i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
