u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
