Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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