I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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