Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
