he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
