I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
