yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
