Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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