He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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