Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
