it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
