Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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