i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
