Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
