Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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