You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
