You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
it's like iHOP with fire
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
