Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I forgot wine drunk hurts
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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