The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize
