is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
