After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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