wrigley field is MILF paradise
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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