I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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