I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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