Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize