broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
