She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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