I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize