He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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