the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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