i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
