the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Ketchup is God's man juice
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
