I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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