i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
