If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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