Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize