I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
