What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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