i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize