Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
