To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize