I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
