I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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