i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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