dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
