he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
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