I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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