Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
