when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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