hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
