she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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