Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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