he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
